Hayyei Sarah: Prayer vs. Wishing

The Prayer of Abraham’s Servant Gen. 24:12-15

And he said: “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, grant me good fortune this day, and deal graciously with my master Abraham: Here I stand by the spring as the daughters of the townsmen come out to draw water; let the maiden to whom I say, ‘Please lower your jar that I may drink,’ and who replies, ‘Drink and I will also water your camels’ - let her be the one whom You have decreed for your servant Isaac. Thereby shall I know that You have dealt graciously with my master.” He had scarcely finished speaking, when Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel, the son of Milcah the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor, came out with a jar on her shoulder.



מדרש רבה בראשית פרשה ס סימן ד
ד ויהי הוא טרם כלה לדבר וגו', תני ר"ש בן יוחאי ג' הם נענו במענה פיהם אליעזר עבדו של אברהם, ומשה, ושלמה, אליעזר ויהי הוא טרם כלה לדבר והנה רבקה יוצאת, משה דכתיב (במדבר יז) ויהי ככלותו לדבר את כל הדברים האלה ותבקע האדמה וגו', שלמה דכתיב (ד"ה דברי הימים ב ז) וככלות שלמה להתפלל אל ה' והאש ירדה מן השמים וגו'.

Genesis Rabbah 60:4
Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai taught: There were three who were answered before they had finished speaking: Eliezer, servant of Abraham; Moses; and Solomon. Eliezer: “He had scarcely finished speaking, when Rebekah...came out” Moses, as it is written: “Scarcely had he finished speaking all these words when the ground under them burst asunder.” (Numbers 17:31) Solomon, as it is written: “When Solomon finished praying, fire descended from heaven,” (II Chronicles 7:1)

This midrash about immediate answers reminds me of an old joke:

Moishe is driving in Jerusalem. He's late for a meeting, he's looking
for a parking place, and can't find one.
In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says: "Lord, if you find
me a parking place, I promise that I'll eat only kosher, respect
Shabbos, and all the holidays."
Miraculously, a place opens up just in front of him. He turns his
face up to heaven and says, "Never mind, I just found one!"

This joke illustrates an revealing theological truth - we must recognize the difference between wishes and prayer. A wish is temporal by nature; it is the moment when we express a desire to God, usually for something specific to occur in the near future. Please God let me get a good grade on the test, please God let my child get into the college of their choice, please God let there be good news from the Doctor. These are certainly prayers don’t get me wrong, but they are also similar to wishes: specific questions which seek out specific results - usually that preferred result being God’s acquiescing to our personal desires.
And that is what the midrash is telling us - these three people; Abraham’s servant, Moses and Solomon all received immediate answers from God, immediate intervention, immediate action, even before they had finished uttering their very request. Nice work if you can get it.

But in actuality - when we talk about t’fillah, about prayer in judaism, this kind of temporal prayer is usually not what we mean. After all petition is only one third of Jewish prayer - there is Shevach, praise, Hodayah, thanksgiving, and there is petition, bakashah. Every one of our prayer services teaches us that there is so much more to our prayer life than simply asking for things.

We praise God for the little gifts we receive on a daily basis; sights, sounds, clothing, food, sunrise, sunsets.

We thank God for specific things we enjoy in life: wisdom, understanding, love, family, breathing.

And yes, sometimes we petition. We ask God for things.

But it is important to note that our prayer life needs to be so much more than just our friend Hayim in the joke that I just told. Building a prayer life is about hard work, dedication, practicing the art of making ourselves known to God, of revealing our character, our fears, our anxieties and yes our desires. But like any relationship in life - it takes a lot of work. It takes patience, dedication and respect for the institution of prayer itself. And of course, it takes the recognition that a truly successful prayer life is not born from the temporal things; no, a truly successful prayer life is one that is born from the eternal things.